XENOBLADE CHRONICLES DEFINITIVE EDITION

XENOBLADE REMASTERED.
REVIEW

I AM SO HAPPY

Top Whatever Games of 2018

I've been rolling around this list for a while, not out of laziness but in all honesty I wasn't too impressed with 2018. I was busy for most of it and found myself drifting back to games available through the Xbone's back compat offerings.

Sony: I bought games I already own just so I can play them comfortably on my nice television with nominally improved framerates. Please take note of this for your future consoles, thanks.

Truth be told, I wasn't even sure how many games I would actually rank; this list has jumped from top five to top nine and everything in between, but after careful consideration I decided to just bite the bullet and list what I played and why I didn't finish the games I wanted to. Spider-Man was my last holdout, but with all the incredible games coming out this year I just didn't feel like putting them off to finish stuff on this list.


Games Not Finished

Mega Man 11

I like Mega Man 11. The Gear system is a great way to introduce an element of accessibility to the game that never once feels mandatory. Series veterans will feel right at home with the level design while newcomers will find that the Gear system is lenient enough that you can safely fall back on it. The game has a plethora of difficulty options and never shies away from series tradition, despite the fact that it takes great strides toward updating the series. The new 3D graphics are decent, nothing too terrible but it doesn't take away from the charm of the game.

Why I didn't complete it: Short answer: too hard. I like to go back to MM11 every now and then to take a crack at a level or two, but I'm old and my crinkled gorilla hands and armadillo brain just can't keep up with Rock like it used to. I'll probably finish it one day. Probably.

Octopath Traveler

I really wanted to love Octopath Traveler. There's a ton of stuff to do and it feels endless, which doesn't help my waning interest. The story is dark and I appreciate the regional accents characters have, and the world feels nice and lived-in. Allowing the player to unlock secondary jobs over time gives the game a massive degree of customization, and having entire story arcs left as optional content is a great way to give players a sense of freedom. That said, not accounting for the player recruiting everybody means the cast never interacts much and it doesn't feel like building a team, more like controlling a function of a character who occasionally gets their own story arc at different points. Leveling up takes way too long as well, and a few of the characters are pretty boring. It's a well-made game and I look forward to finishing it, just not any time soon.

Why I didn't complete it: Recently I decided to go back and give it another shot, and the game does open up in the second chapter, but unlike JRPGs I truly enjoy the story of Octopath simply cannot keep my attention for more than an hour or two. All the flaws I found also drag the entire package down, and the idea that I have to find each secondary job separately makes me just not want to bother. As a spiritual successor to Bravely Default, it takes too many steps back from the modern conveniences of that game. I see the appeal of making a very classic JRPG, my favorite genre is probably the PS1 era of JRPGs, but obfuscation for the sake of it just leads to frustration. You can evolve the genre while not forcing it, which this game feels like it tries too hard to do.

Fist of the North Star: Lost Paradise

This one hurts. Lost Paradise is a winning formula, a quality product in every way. Take the familiar gameplay and feel of Sega's incredible Yakuza games, drop it in the world-famous Fist of the North Star setting, and let the Ryu Ga Gotoku staff go nuts. The game feels like it's a story arc ripped straight out of the manga, with new characters alongside familiar faces and just enough backstory for any newcomer to jump right in. Play this game, it would have easily been top three on this list otherwise.

Why I didn't complete it: Yakuza 6 came out last year. These games are long and can take a hefty time investment; even those that are high quality like Lost Paradise needs some breathing room. And with Judgment coming later this year, I just don't know how I'll have the time.


The List


7b: Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate

I said before that so long as we get a Monster Hunter, it'll always be welcome on my game of the year list. Generations Ultimate improves upon its 3DS counterpart with new styles, new monsters, more abilities, and just more stuff to do in general. Plus, it's on the Switch, so now you can play a classic-style Monster Hunter like a human being rather than a buster scrub picking away at the stupid camera nub on a screen for a phone from two decades ago. Of course, since it's a re-release it can't take the official number seven spot, but it's so good that I had to give it some props. If you want the most pure taste of classic Monster Hunter, this game is as good as you're ever going to get.

7: Yakuza 6

Yakuza 6 is a very conflicted game, and were it not for all the unfinished games it would be much lower on this list. Yakuza 6 picks up directly from the end of Yakuza 5, placing Kiryu in a desperate situation with his adopted daughter Haruka by his side. Kiryu spends several years in prison, and when he gets out all hell has broken loose. The Tojo clan is on its last legs, the big figures of the Tokyo yakuza are nowhere to be seen, and the Chinese mafia has begun its slow takeover of Kamurocho. In the center of it all is Haruka, left heavily injured and comatose from a hit and run. To Kiryu's surprise, Haruka is the mother to a boy named Haruto, and the mystery of his parentage takes center stage. At the heart of it all, Yakuza 6 is about passing on the torch to a new generation and the sacrifices a parent must make for their child. The story is very touching and moves along at a brisk pace, and as a huge fan of the series I cannot be happier by their sendoff for series protagonist Kazuma Kiryu. That said, the new combat system takes some getting used to, and leveling the player's skills can be tedious and frustrating at times. The twists can be pretty stupid, and I intensely dislike that most of the new characters from Yakuza 4 and 5 are largely forgotten. It's worth playing for series vets and for that I respect it, but it is absolutely not a game for newcomers to the series.

6: Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna, the Golden Country

I considered this one for a long time, but as far as I'm concerned, Torna is long enough and distant from the original Xenoblade 2 that it can be considered its own game. Initially pitched as the actual Xenoblade 2, then reworked from a chapter of the main game, Torna is a compelling take on the events of Xenogears Episode 4 with plenty of callbacks to that game, providing a detailed look at an event referenced throughout Xenoblade 2 while fleshing out the backstories of many of its more mysterious characters. The gameplay has been way refined, ditching the random Jojo's Bizarre Adventure-Stand-style Blade system for one that more properly assigns characters to their Blade counterparts. Gone is the tedious grinding for high-level Blades, and with it the need to grind for skills to traverse the world. That's all still there, but it's much easier to explore the world without completely arbitrary roadblocks. A modified version of the beloved Affinity system from the original Xenoblade returns, which I wrote about extensively in my glowing review for that game, which greatly impacts player involvement in some of the more harrowing moments in the story. Torna is a great introduction to the world of Xenoblade 2 and can be played with or without the main game, and even though it's an expansion I consider it one of the finest games of the year. And check out the soundtrack, while you're at it.

5: Monster Hunter World

Following the reveal of Monster Hunter World, I was not one of the millions of people eager to try out the new redesign of the series. After reluctantly giving it a shot during a trial period, I finally saw just how wrong I was. Many of the obfuscated elements of Monster Hunter have been totally streamlined in World, leaving a game that focuses almost exclusively on the brutal fights between the player and the monster targeted for the hunt. Everything about the game flows smoother, the animations are top notch, and after a decade Monster Hunter finally feels like a game that wants to impress rather than be content to pump out iterative releases. Monster Hunter World is brilliant, and is well deserving of its twelve million lifetime sales. I just can't wait to get back to it so I can be prepared for Iceborne later in 2019.

4: Dragon Ball FighterZ

As a lifetime fan of Dragon Ball, I cannot stress enough just how much this game got right. More than that, it's an absolutely stellar fighter, built to be accessible to beginners and complex enough for hardcore fighting players. After the disaster of Marvel VS Capcom: Infinite, all this game had to be was good. Rather, Arcsys has developed one of the best 3v3 fighting games in recent memory, and even as season 2 picks up the pace with more characters the game still feels completely fresh. Arcsys, please, save JoJo's Bizarre Adventure from its endless hell of bad video games and give it the FighterZ treatment.

3: God of War

God of War has been a series that I've both enjoyed and despised. Greek mythology played with edgy cynicism over basic hack-and-slash gameplay gave the series a unique charm, but it never felt particularly deep and the main character, Kratos, had all the charm of a dry sponge. There is no way in any version of hell that the series could continue in its legacy form, but even still, never in my wildest dreams did I anticipate the reboot to come out so fantastic. While the gameplay is still not deep, the RPG mechanics give the player a great feeling of customization with options that open up the further the player gets into the game. Equipment adds a great feeling of progression while gems give the player bonuses to feel like each play style has unique elements. The story of Kratos taking his son on a meaningful journey suffers from cliche moments, but it's told well and has a satisfying conclusion. The fixed camera does not do the game any favors as it often leads to jarring or lazy story cuts, and some of the character turns come out of nowhere, but all in all it's a fine game with fun exploration and a gripping narrative.

2b: Yakuza Kiwami 2


Alright look, this game is just a remake and I normally wouldn't want to put a remake on a year's best list. That said, Yakuza 2 is one of my favorite games ever and this is a pretty faithful remake of that game. Some cuts had to be made, including a short area later on, and a few changes are disappointing. It's still a great, modern way to play a classic game, with new minigames and a brand new story segment to follow up on Yakuza 0's Majima story. The improvements to the Dragon Engine so close to Yakuza 6 make this game feel even better to play, and while that game left me questioning the future of the franchise with how busted and restricted it felt, Kiwami 2 brought back my hope in a big way. A tremendous game all around.

2: Marvel's Spider-Man

I really can't stand this comic book resurgence. I have completely checked out of the Marvel movie thing and I absolutely will not be playing that terrible Avengers game, but Spider-Man was always on my radar. I like the guy, he's a fun super hero and a lot of games in the franchise have been pretty great. Insomniac's involvement in this game is what really sold me on the premise. I like their games, and I seriously wish I had an Xbox the year Sunset Overdrive released so I could have sung its praises more highly. Spider-Man takes concepts from that game and cranks them up to their highest potential, creating a living world that actually feels like a fully fleshed-out Spider-Man adventure. The story is phenomenal and takes a turn darker than I've ever seen from the hero. The biggest downside to the game is the Batman: Arkham-style gameplay. I don't hate it and there are plenty of new twists on the formula, but it's exactly like you would expect. That aside, this is probably the best superhero game I've ever played, nudging out even the exceptional Batman: Arkham Asylum.

1: Red Dead Redemption 2

Every now and then I catch myself humming Willie Nelson's original song for this game, "Cruel Cruel World," and every time it makes me reminisce about what a transcendent experience Red Dead Redemption 2 truly is. It is faultless in every way, brimming with side activities while only expecting the bare minimum out of the player if the story is the main focus. You could spend hundreds of hours without watching a single cutscene, only exploring the world and getting into whatever shenanigans pop up. The story itself is so far beyond anything I've seen this year, easily since Nier: Automata, that I just feel like I wouldn't be doing it justice in trying to describe it. The gameplay is heavy, reflecting the larger-than-life stature of Arthur Morgan and, by extension, Dutch's gang. It'll hook you before you know it, and if you have a single manly tear in your body, it will take it out of you before the credits finally roll. I don't have to tell you to play this game, I just want you to know that it is in a class so far ahead of everything else that it goes beyond words.

Review: Xenoblade Chronicles

In 1998, Squaresoft released an instant classic: Xenogears. The game blended gorgeous 2D sprites with polygonal backgrounds, with turn-based battles occurring both on foot and in giant mechs. The game was a ton of fun, but the real star of the show was its ambitious, in-depth story spanning fifteen thousand years. Unfortunately, time and budgetary constraints limited the grand scale of the game and, while the main plot of Xenogears wraps up in a very complete ending, it still suffers from legendary cuts. Plans for spinoff games, novels and comic books, otherwise known as Project Noah, were effectively canned and Xenogears was quietly forgotten by Squaresoft.

The project leads for Xenogears, Tetsuya Takahashi and his wife, Soraya Saga, refused to allow the dream to die. The two left Square to form their own studio, Monolith Soft, with the intent to reboot the Xeno franchise. With Namco as their publisher, the studio began work on the now-infamous Xenosaga series. Envisioned as a six-part sci-fi epic, the franchise faced difficulties with the huge scope of the individual titles as well as increased scrutiny by the publisher. The first planned title was split into two games, the second of which sold poorly, and the five other planned games were mashed into the actually decent Xenosaga: Episode III. By this point the franchise was dead, and the team at Monolith Soft again faced a tough situation.

Luckily for them, Monolith worked on several properties for Nintendo between their Xenosaga entries, including a trimmed-down remake of the first two games on the Nintendo DS. Nintendo had developed a positive relationship with Monolith, and by the time Xenosaga ended, made the decision to work more closely on future projects. Despite their stated intent to avoid mergers and acquisitions, Nintendo bought a vast majority of Monolith's stakes and essentially told them to go nuts.

Free from the tight constraints of Namco and with all the time in the world, executive director and lead writer Tetsuya Takahashi envisioned a new title: Monado, Beginning of the World. The game was to be a first for Nintendo: a massive open world with a rich lore on a truly enormous scope. Despite several setbacks, the game launched in Japan in 2010, followed by Europe the next year. Out of respect for Takahashi's previous work, the game was now titled Xenoblade, with a Chronicles slapped at the end in the Western release.

Xenoblade was a massive success, both critically and financially. It filled two niches that nobody had realized were just waiting with bated breath: the ever-growing Xeno fanbase, as well as the open world Nintendo fans who had no access to bigger titles like Grand Theft Auto. That, and the game is just damn good. So good, in fact, that Nintendo flipped their tepid response to an American release in 2012, finally giving the entire world a chance to play the game. A good choice, too, given the most recent game in the series is one of Nintendo's best-selling games in recent years.

The civilization of Xenoblade developed on the back of two colossal entities: the Bionis, an organic being, and the Mechonis, its mechanical counterpart. Thousands of years before the story, the Bionis and Mechonis fought to a stand-still, killing each other with a final clash. After a period of silence, robotic monsters from the Mechonis begin a genocidal campaign against the races of the Bionis, culminating in a battle which pushed back the Mechon horde.

One year later, the Mechon return to seek vengeance on those responsible, the humanoid homs who wield a Mechon-destroying sword known as the Monado. After fighting back the Mechon swarm and witnessing the death of his childhood friend, the new heir to the Monado, Shulk, heads for the Mechonis to fulfill his revenge.

As the Bionis is a colossal being and Shulk is relatively young, the many cultures of Bionis are unknown to him. This creates one of the most important aspects of Xenoblade: the affinity chart. Each named NPC is added to the chart when they're spoken to, and each one is affiliated with at least one other NPC. Since many know two or more characters, this creates a branching relationship which the player can unlock during the entirety of the game. I say can because naturally, this mechanic is entirely optional.

Not only does the affinity system give players access to store discounts and side quests, the deepening relationship with each community gives the world a life that feels vibrant and diverse. Each character on the affinity chart has their own schedule and character traits, and most importantly, grow and develop over the course of the game. A character might have something entirely new to say after plot development, and in some cases, this involves that character interacting with another, growing the chart further. A few characters will even interact with others in different communities, giving the player a sense that their input is growing the community across the entire Bionis.

While Xenoblade does sport a distinct open world, statements that the game is seamless and without loading screens are patently false. That said, because each area represents a different "body part" of the Bionis, the maps can look wildly different while keeping a similar cohesive theme. Props need to be given to the art team, especially given how fully realized each area appears.

A basic gameplay routine develops early on, and while systems like boss fights and the affinity system grow over time the general flow remains the same. In the open world areas, players typically run across three to five generic quest-givers, alongside a shop or two and maybe one named NPC. Many of these first quests are generic, like killing monsters or picking up items, but due to the real-time nature of the game these quests feel more like background noise than filler. However, taking the short amount of time to complete these quests gives the player an advantage throughout the game.

Combat feels similar to real-time MMO games, such as World of Warcraft, in that the character automatically attacks while the player is given a basic palette of skills, or Arts, which fill back in over time. No resource management is required as the player's health restores after battle, though a reasonable level of character optimization is expected. Outside of the ability to customize which eight Arts the player brings into battle, each character is given a skill tree which increases passive abilities such as the ability to wear heavier armor and bonus to combat stats.

The skill tree ties into Xenoblade's affinity chart as well, as additional trees are unlocked by completing quests for the game's communities. The player characters literally grow stronger by interacting with towns and learning more about the world, but what really makes this special is that the same mechanic is applied to the party itself. As characters are used in the party together, they grow bonds which give access to more intimate heart-to-heart moments, which then further flesh out character backgrounds and motivations. These bonds also allow characters to add passive skills from other characters' skill trees, maximizing character potential beyond the standard skill trees and Arts.

The biggest flaw in this system is also its inherent strength, and will largely depend on the player's immersion in the world. The game is not balanced in such a way that players only interested in the story can focus entirely on the plot, and the game's multitude of sidequests and bonding events are not so shallow that a simple detour will be enough to make up for the game's later, difficult encounters. During my first playthrough I reached the penultimate boss before I realized I was underleveled and had horribly underutilized the game's crystal system, where pieces of armor can be adjusted using slot bonuses in a relatively intuitive crafting mechanic. I loaded up an earlier save to complete more side activities, but in doing so overwrote my original save file and found myself dozens of hours away from the end of the game.

Xenoblade's story is the high point for me, but investing in the world can be extremely rewarding for players who find an interest in that sort of game. Fans of traditional JRPGs will find a familiar tone and atmosphere in the narrative and there are plenty of twists and interesting ideas to keep most people motivated, but keep in mind this title can last several dozen hours even if you manage to avoid side content. I would not recommend this approach though, as it heavily undermines the technical achievement of Xenoblade.

The Wii was an extremely underpowered piece of hardware, as was the Wii U and Nintendo's current Switch console. The fact that such an enormous game with so many environments and mechanics turned out so well on the Wii is worthy of praise, not to mention how deeply connected all these mechanics can be. Xenoblade performs so admirably that to compare it to previous attempts by Takahashi and Saga truly shines a light on how underutilized their talents were in previous generations, and while I still hope to see a completed version of Xenogears one day, it's exciting to know that the team at Monolith are finally being given their due by Nintendo. And if reports on Monolith's current activities are any indication, it seems like Nintendo is fully aware that their ambitious little studio can pull through with proper time and care.

Xenoblade continues the tradition of Monolith's generations-spanning storytelling, weaving complex political intrigue with bombastic action and science fiction. A decade after its release, Xenoblade continues to be one of the most awe-inspiring games of all time. The game might expect you to put in a great deal of work to fully appreciate its scope, but give it enough time and you'll find yourself wrapped in a grand adventure unlike any other video game out today.

Fallout 76 is your fault.

Usually I'd like to make a long blog to ramble about something like this, but I'm just tired of giving Bethesda attention. Fallout 76 has released to such vicious blow-back that a law firm is getting involved to decide if the game is a scam. I don't honestly believe the fault is with Bethesda, though; no, Todd's just doing what he's been conditioned to believe is best for the consumer. Joke all you want about how Skyrim is on every console, hell, even I bought the Switch port, but the consumer is the one pushing for this kind of treatment. For my part, I skipped the last generation ports as well as the "Special Edition" remaster simply out of the virtue that Bethesda deserves as little money as possible, but even in this glass house I need to throw a few stones over this mess.

Take the Obsidian debacle, for instance. Nobody talks about New Vegas much for some reason, and some websites skip over it when referring to the series as a whole, but that might be because Bethesda played dirty and screwed Obsidian over for cheap labor. Don't feel bad if you haven't heard this story before, because it certainly didn't circulate over the normal channels. In essence, Bethesda not only forced Obsidian to develop the entire game, including bug testing, in only eighteen months, but also kept them from receiving bonuses under the pretense that they needed to earn an 85 Metacritic score. Most platforms the game received an 84, and in many of the negative reviews you'll note that points were docked because of the game's performance. Poor performance, you may realize, was caused by Bethesda's Frankenstein game engine and Obsidian's insane deadlines.

Bethesda bought the Fallout franchise from Obsidian, dangled it over their heads like a carrot, then shoved them in a locker when they got what they wanted. Bethesda took Obsidian's hard work to the bank, and nobody batted an eye. For me, though, this was the moment I gave up on the studio. Okay, yeah, I bought that Skyrim port, but you know what? I accept that I was part of the problem.

But Fallout 76? That's on you. It's on you for criticizing criticizing Jeff Gerstmann for rightfully pointing out Bethesda's laziness on Fallout 4. It's on the game journalists for not doing their job and putting pressure on Bethesda for their treatment on Obsidian. It's on the mongoloid press for clapping their hands at Bethesda's mediocrity. Is Bethesda to blame for reusing a busted old engine from 2002? Of course. But if you want creators to improve, you have to vote with your wallet. I promise you, if the studio doesn't learn from this fiasco then Starfield and, later, Elder Scrolls VI will absolutely be just as pathetic as Fallout 76. And you can bet they'll point to sales figures as the first justifiable excuse for their half-assed attempt. Just stop giving them money. Just stop buying every shiny new thing without doing any research. Save your money. Please just stop.

The Playstation Mini is a cheap piece of bargain bin crap

Nintendo's classic consoles, while suffering from a disgusting flood of hype, were great ways to experience the best assortment of games from their respective consoles. Mario and Zelda were perfectly rounded out with Mega Man and Final Fantasy in a package that not only made sense, but looked nice to boot. The Super Nintendo classic, while boasting fewer games, upped the ante by releasing with an impressive collection of titles as well as the previously unreleased Star Fox 2. Nintendo might make some stupid decisions, but they know from premium quality.

The same could be said of Sony, though not in the way you might expect. Yes, Sony understands quality, but what they truly understand is Nintendo quality. From questionable knock-offs like their Move controllers to blatant idea theft with the likes of Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale, Sony appears to believe that the best way to give customers a quality product is just to emulate whatever Nintendo is excelling at, regardless of context.

Might as well emulate their censorship policies as well, that worked so well for the Wii U era. Photo credit: https://twitter.com/JoshuaMFrench/status/1056659776241831936

Sony's latest in a series of shameless ripoffs is the Playstation Classic, a miniature console that promises to "help gamers rediscover the games they know and love," announcing first a line-up of veritable classics, including Final Fantasy VII, Wild Arms and Tekken 3.

My first reaction was generally positive, especially given that Tekken 3 is permanently stuck in legal limbo due to the inclusion of a popular licensed character in Japan who nobody abroad gives a shit about. This initial announcement left me bewildered, however, due to the previewed games in this thing: namely, Wild Arms and Jumping Jack Flash. I get Wild Arms, it was one of my favorite games as a teenager and it has a niche following, but one of twenty games that defined the console? Same with Jumping Flash, I'm sure that game was loved and I know it has a sizable following, but this is how you plan on celebrating the first Sony console?

Today, Sony revealed the full list of games and confirmed that they have absolutely no clue what led to their system's success. Here's the Western console:

Battle Arena Toshinden Cool Boarders 2 Destruction Derby Final Fantasy VII Grand Theft Auto Intelligent Qube Jumping Flash! Metal Gear Solid Mr. Driller Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee Rayman Resident Evil Director's Cut Revelations: Persona Ridge Racer Type 4 Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo Syphon Filter Tekken 3 Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Twisted Metal Wild Arms

And the Japanese version:

Arc the Lad Arc the Lad 2 Armored Core Biohazard Director’s Cut (Resident Evil Director’s Cut) Final Fantasy VII International G Darius Gradius Gaiden Intelligent Qube Jumping Flash Megami Ibunroku Persona: Be Your True Mind (Revelations: Persona) Metal Gear Solid Mr. Driller Parasite Eve Ridge Racer Type 4 SaGa Frontier Super Puzzle Fighter IIX Tekken 3 Toshinden (Battle Arena Toshinden) Wild Arms XI [sái] (Devil Dice)

My response, as should be everyone's, was a simple "huh?" Unsurprisingly, I did see a lot of "meh" in the Twitter responses to these lists, but one of the biggest surprises is just how upset people were by the very obvious superiority of the Japanese list of games on display. Many people had already been clambering for the Parasite Eve games and here's the Japanese Classic system boasting that and several other incredible games. Gradius Gaiden wouldn't even need to be translated, and Armored Core is still a beloved game over here. What really gets me, though, are the omissions of SaGa Frontier and the inclusion on both consoles of Revelations: Persona.

I've made my dislike of Persona 1 abundantly clear in my review, but here's the thing: that was a review of the enhanced PSP port. Megami Ibunroku Persona is not by any stretch of the imagination a good game on its own, and it's only made worse by the worst world map ever put in a video game and a UI that was designed by space aliens who don't understand basic text layout. Not only that, the game was also subject to possibly the worst localization of all time: one character was entirely changed to be a different race, making him look like he's running around in blackface than an actual character; all the character and location names are changed to be more "Americanized"; and an entire optional quest, as long as the main game, was cut for unknown reasons. Am I supposed to be happy that Sony is shoving the worst version of a bad game into this thing? What really bothers me about this is that the far superior game, Persona 2: Eternal Punishment, is translated very faithfully, has no cuts, and is far more representative of the series going forward--although not by much.

What I really wanted out of this thing was a collection of titles that for whatever reason, Sony was unable to launch on the Playstation Network. SaGa Frontier is one such example. I don't know why it never released as a PSN Classic, but this is a clear example of a game that would please the niche JRPG fan while offering something we can't get elsewhere. Any game here that can be bought through the Vita or PS3 is an instant question mark from me, and a huge chunk of both lists are just that. I understand why the Nintendo Classic featured a ton of games otherwise available on the Wii U shop: that console sold like crap and many of the games were only available through the defunct Wii Virtual Console, and moreover, it's a way of celebrating the best of the best in regards to that entire console's lifespan. Very few of the games in either of these lists do just that, but the Japanese list is clearly superior. Even the releases of Biohazard Director's Cut and Revelations: Persona are superior to their Western counterparts--Resident Evil is censored and Persona, as mentioned, is butchered to the point of being nearly unrecognizable.

Other titles seem like complete no-brainers. If the Japanese console is going to include a FromSoft game, why Armored Core and not the far rarer, more noteworthy King's Field? Dark Souls is arguably one of the most important franchises of the last generation of games, so why not include the title from which many of From's ideas were first introduced? That's also a game not readily available on the Playstation Network! How about the piles of Enix games Square apparently forced them to throw in a dumpster somewhere? Excuse me, but what the fuck about Star Ocean 2 or Valkyrie Profile? Both extremely coveted games, Star Ocean 2 only being available through the Japanese store and Valkyrie Profile only released recently as a mobile port. Yes, there are PSP versions of both, but have either of those been released digitally? Nope! And if we're talking about the Japanese console, has everyone forgotten about Dragon Quest VII? A franchise so successful it destroyed the Japanese work week?

I'm too lazy to verify, but a lot of these seem like bargain-bin Sony games that cost the company nothing to obtain rights for. Fucking Toshinden, really? I don't know if Sony is aware of this, but the Playstation was defined by its roleplaying games. Xenogears alone is better than any RPG in this list, but it's like the company shit themselves over the idea of a game that's not an ugly, forgotten pile of crap. Nobody cares at all about old Rainbow Six games or goddamn Syphon Filter. Get that shit right out of my vision, nobody in the world remembers or cares about that franchise. Cool Boarders? Mr. Driller? Drill out my eyes, it's preferable to ever playing at least half this list. Hell, as far as I can tell that Puzzle Fighter game was re-released in HD not very long ago on last-gen consoles, how is this suddenly a better proposition?

But speaking of HD remasters, let's take a look at some notable omissions. Metal Gear Solid made the cut, and it was unsurprisingly one of the most requested titles, but another highly-requested game was also a Konami game--Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. There's no need to go into just how beloved this game is, the success of the recent Castlevania: Requiem release proves that.

Oh right, that game did just get re-released on a modern console. You know what else is missing? Crash Bandicoot. Literally any of those games. As is Spyro the Dragon, a game that I instantly think of when remembering the Playstation. And MediEvil, a spooky action romp. Notice anything about these three titles? Every one of them is being worked on as a full remake from the ground up. Games you automatically remember as Playstation hallmarks are missing, and I assure you it's not because they're indicative of the console's big exclusive games. Sony is looking to make a quick buck here, and you don't make money by potentially losing a sale on new or upcoming games.

Yes, that's it. That's the only reason your beloved Crash Team Racing and Symphony of the Night are not on here. It's because Sony slapped this piece of crap together with bargain bin games they could scrounge up the licenses for the cheapest. Intelligent Qube, friends. If there's any indication that Sony completely dropped the ball with this thing, it's their inclusion of a forgotten puzzle game nobody cares about. Just peruse the list of games on both Nintendo mini consoles:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NES_Classic_Edition

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_NES_Classic_Edition

Now those are lists curated with love. An unreleased game, classics, even Earthbound was selected for the Western release just because Westerners made such a big deal about the franchise for such a long time. Nintendo very much curated their consoles to appeal to everyone who's ever owned an original, which you can clearly see by looking over the list. Chances are if you haven't played all of those games, you've at least heard of many, if not most of them. They even picked the most famous Street Fighter release by region! Those are labors of love, and it's no wonder they went out of print for so long.

This Playstation thing just feels like a quick cash-grab with the cheapest games Sony could get their hands on, and I will almost certainly skip it. I assure you I wouldn't touch half the games in the Western release, and nearly all the Japanese games are available through other means. You might see the novelty in the included pre-Dualshock controllers, but take it from me, you'll see why Sony has gone through such lengths to improve that design over the years.

The only games in this list worth playing not available through the PS3's classic system are Revelations Persona and Tekken 3, and the former is a very far stretch. In fact, Persona 1 is only worth playing as a curiosity, especially given how much better its PSP counterpart improves the entire game. Tekken 3 is the real bummer here, especially since it will likely never see a wide release again, but your money is better spent on simply buying a copy of the Playstation original. Rather than rewarding Sony for this pile of crap, go invest in a Playstation 3. Aside from the great exclusives, nearly all the games on both of these lists can be found cheap on PSN, as well as a host of others mentioned in this article yet somehow missing from the Playstation "Classic." And if you're that worried about Puzzle Fighter, keep in mind that an HD remaster is also available on Playstation 3. Do not reward laziness, skip this monstrosity altogether.

Update: Reviews are starting to poor in, and while I was obviously right Sony took steps to go further in their mediocrity. Rather than selecting games per region, as they do in their Playstation Classics store, the Playstation Classic instead uses the European releases of many of its games. Why is that a problem, you ask? European televisions had a refresh rate of 50Hz, as opposed to our 60, and games had to be slowed down to compensate. That means any of the European titles will be just over 15% slower than the same North American games, automatically bringing the value of this thing as a preservation device crashing through the floor. The worst part is that the most valuable game in this collection, Tekken 3, is one of those very European releases. Fighting games are at their best at 60 FPS, and nobody will want to play a venerated classic like Tekken 3 at any sort of compromised framerate. That means the one single game I've praised for its inclusion is completely worthless, and I want to reiterate that you should not reward Sony for their laziness.

Breath of the Wild timeline theory - I was right!

A few days ago, Nintendo's official Zelda website added Breath of the Wild to its series timeline. It's viewable here: https://www.nintendo.co.jp/character/zelda/history/index.html

An important takeaway from this is that, as you have surmised by reading this blog, I am always right. The lone exception to this rule is incorrectly guessing weapon respawns in my review for Breath of the Wild, but I refuse to take credit for that flub. Rather, I'd like to point out a major part of my review: that Breath of the Wild exists as a single point for Nintendo to give the Zelda series a much-needed soft reboot, keeping historical elements relevant while allowing the game to break free of the hotly-debated timeline. My review:
https://subjective-objective.blogspot.com/2017/04/review-legend-of-zelda-breath-of-wild.html

Series producer Eiji Aonuma and Breath of the Wild director Hidemaro Fujibayashi were interviewed by Famitsu over the weekend to discuss this further, which you can read some excerpts here at Siloconera:
http://www.siliconera.com/2018/08/05/the-legend-of-zelda-breath-of-the-wild-has-been-added-to-the-series-official-timeline/

Another interesting takeaway from all this is that the Fallen Hero timeline has been tweaked significantly by changing the order of a single game. In my Oracles review, I criticized the series for placing Link's Awakening after the Oracles games, which gave the impression that after all his great adventures, the legendary hero died at sea like a stupid bum. Link's Awakening is now officially placed before Oracles, which means our hero was able to survive to go on many more adventures. While I'm glad Breath of the Wild was thankfully given its own, hopefully less-convoluted timeline for the future, I am very happy with the thoughtful decision to shift up the Fallen Hero timeline to give Link a happier ending. For that review:
https://subjective-objective.blogspot.com/2017/02/zelda-oracles-review.html

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Top Ten Games of 2017

Oh God almighty, what month is this? Is it still 2018? July? I still haven't finished all the games I wanted to for this list, but if I keep spending time on games just to finish them for this the list won't be done until next year. 2017 was wild for me: I worked two jobs, wrote the first draft of a book, and moved from my hometown. 2018 has been even more wild, and that's not to say anything about the rich library of games that have come out and I've completely missed. It's hard to play video games when your free time is spent on more fulfilling time-consuming endeavors, but of the games I played, here are the ones I wanted to give special mention to.

Part 1: Runners-Up

Prey
This one hurts. I've been playing the hell out of Prey recently, though truth be told I'd had my eye on it since it released. I liked the original Prey well enough, but the use of the name for this new project never really bothered me. Honestly, I feel like they could have used a far better name, but it is what it is. This game is utterly fantastic, a true spiritual successor to immersive sim games like System Shock 2 and Deus Ex.

The only problem here, and one that I admit is a problem on my end, is that immersive sims terrify me. Not in the way something like P.T. does, where the fear comes from dread and tension, but instead in the terror of making a permanent mistake in character building or resource management. That said, Prey delicately balances these fears by giving players tons of options to mitigate these issues.

Not only do I love Prey, it's also going to be the stepping stone to finally finish my System Shock 2 and Deus Ex runs, and if nothing else, that's worth the time it's taken to get to this game. Unfortunately, I'm only listing games I finished as my top ten, and I do not want to rush myself like I did with other games in the list. Otherwise, this would easily be a top five game for me. Even though it's not in the official top ten, you'd be doing yourself a disservice by not playing Prey.

Hollow Knight
Had the developers focused more on releasing Hollow Knight on consoles during 2017, I do not doubt it would have made my list. Sad to say, though, my first experience with Hollow Knight has been from the Switch release, and like Prey, I don't want to rush myself to get through this one. It's real special and I can't wait to delve deeper into Hallownest.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
I loved Wolfenstein: The New Order. A fast-paced single-player shooter at a time when the norm was sneaking around waist-high walls, and yet another attempt at revitalizing the Wolfenstein franchise, The New Order came out of nowhere and blew everyone away. More than its fresh gameplay, the game also surprised players with an introspective, fully realized B.J. Blasowicz who felt more like a person than a wall of meat. It was a great game, and I still revisit it from time to time.

I very highly doubt I'll do the same for Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus. Very few gameplay changes have been made here, and enemy variety feels far smaller than the previous entry. The only real change I noticed was the ability to mix up which weapons to dual-wield, but I hardly, if ever, used that feature. The game is incredibly short, and the character choice gives the player far fewer options compared to the original.

What really surprised me about the short campaign is how much fluff actually composes so much of the game. In fact, I'd argue that the meaningful story moments compose less of the game than the entirety of the first game's expansion pack, The Old Blood. New characters are introduced who add very little to the story, and one of the bigger moments of the game, the famous Roswell chapter, only serves to get B.J. in place for the big, time-wasting dramatic turn near the halfway point.

It's at this point the unfinished nature of the game begins to shine through, with characters making stupid decisions just to progress the plot. Too many plot points are dropped, such as B.J.'s childhood friend and the importance of the Black Panther characters, while the plot detours into neat but ultimately pointless setpieces. The final boss is just an annoying wave of enemies filling the screen with so much crap that I think it nearly fried my console's GPU--I'll probably edit this to include a video later, but at one point enemies spawned as black boxes and glitch artifacts began to pop up all over my screen.

I hate to say it, but the only reason this game got so much attention where the predecessor did not is because Bethesda leaned into the current political climate to market the game. I'd even argue the game's chunks of apparent missing content is due to the game being rushed out the door in order to make it a more timely release, consistency and integrity be damned. On the one hand, they're Nazis, so fuck them. On the other, the country is at this weird point where everyone under a certain title, affiliation be damned, are labeled Nazis for no reason other than some weird devotion to a political cause. A man was just fined in the UK for making a Nazi joke because the political climate is such that people think real Nazis still exist, rather than being stuck as a fringe group of weirdos nobody takes seriously. Of course, fuck Nazis. But if you've gotten it into your head that your political opponents are Nazis because some website told you so, and if you're using this game as some sort of catharsis, you need serious mental evaluation. Don't prop up mediocre games because you apparently want to kill people with differing political opinions. Play good games, like the ones I'm about to list.

Part 2: The List

Horizon: Zero Dawn
You barely made this list, and I'd bump you off in a split second for Prey. Horizon: Zero Dawn is an incredibly frustrating game with an incredible backstory, a very relaxing Far Cry clone with decent mechanics and an entire cast of annoying, boring characters. Something about this game bothered me since it was first revealed, and like the new God of War, I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm being told to be excited about games by people I don't know and have no reason to trust, before I can actually form my opinion otherwise. This is a trend I've noticed happen time and again in "geek" circles, and it's pretty embarrassing when the stupid, drooling manchild fanboys buy it hook, line and sinker.

The main story of Horizon is incredibly dull and the world seems to have been created as an afterthought, with much of the development occurring through off-hand comments and lazy text dumps that have to be found anyway. The real meat of the game, and what should have been the Focus (do you get that joke?), is learning what actually happened to the world and the cause of the apocalyptic world. The fact that a Western developer tried, and in some ways succeeded, to capture the grand scale of a story almost identical to Xenogears is truly commendable. I don't know if I can handle a sequel, but the last ten or so hours of this game was actually enjoyable enough to recommend the middling entire first three quarters or so.

Sonic Mania
I knew from the moment I saw this thing that I would love it. Sonic Mania is a send-up to the 2D Sonic titles, with most levels being recreations of levels from the series's past. After a first stage to homage the original level, the game then remixes that level to create something genuinely new and exciting. As a Sega kid in my wee youth, Sonic Mania was a love letter I didn't know I needed. I just hope we get a sequel down the road. There's really nothing to say about this game, it's short, cheap, looks great and feels incredible. My only complaint is that I wish there were more new stages, but "I want more" is far from a reasonable criticism.

Metroid: Samus Returns
Another Metroid 2 Remake was one of my favorite games from last year, and it's a terrible shame that Nintendo had to take it down. But on the flipside, Metroid fans got yet another remake of the controversial Metroid 2, this time with brand-new combat-focused mechanics. The 2.5D approach isn't all that nice to look at, but it more than makes up for that with a reinvented SR-388 and new areas and bosses.

With this game, Nintendo has finally perfected the weak link in the franchise. My only complaint, and this is something that actually hampered my enjoyment, is the game's framerate. Metroid: Samus Returns would have benefited from a Switch port, especially given how new the console was. Because of its 3DS exclusivity, the game is also a bit ugly at times, with some textures being ugly smears intended to be hidden by the handheld's low resolution. It's a shame, but the sacrifice is well worth how great the game feels and how fully the world is realized.

Persona 5
Yeah, sixth. There's a lot to like about Persona 5. The style is head and shoulders above any other game on this list, the music is extraordinarily catchy, and the game's visuals are fluid and gorgeous. Dungeons are a joy to run through and combat, while being full of visual flair, is mechanically dense but extremely easy to get into and play.

Then you have to play the social sim.

Whenever I think of my favorite Persona games, I always default to Persona 2. It wastes no time, the characters are fun, and the story is incredible. All I've ever felt when being forced into the daily sections of the new Persona titles is that I'm just playing through filler. I don't have fun hanging out with chumps on the street. Rather than going through the life of a high school student, I feel instead like I've got a checklist of things to do before I make it to the next edge-of-my-seat dungeon crawl. I've gotta talk to the teacher so I can do stuff after playing a dungeon, I need to go by the fortune teller so I can boost my other confidants, I gotta go study this night, I gotta do this, I have to do that.

That's not fun. I hate feeling like I'm doing chores. I will always prefer mainline while Persona is in this weird limbo of social sims. Of the 120 hours that consisted my first playthrough, no less than half of that was just me doing this busywork. It's thinly-veiled grinding.

To make matters worse, the story is utterly terrible. Atlus had to force people to not share details of the game because the crux of the plot is entirely dedicated to not telling the player when a stupid plot detail is being hidden. The frame narrative, where the protagonist has his "mind clouded" by his interrogators, is only set up that way so the developers could hide key plot elements from the player. It's so bad idiot journalists thought the problem with the story came from the translation, but as the saying goes, you can't put lipstick on a pig. It's embarrassing and a huge blemish on what is actually a very fun, thrilling gameplay experience. I will say, though, that this gives me a lot of hope for Shin Megami Tensei V.

Xenoblade 2
Almost the exact opposite of Persona 5 here. I came in with very high hopes, had them dashed, and after a few hours found myself totally enraptured in the story. That said, I could not care less for the side content or open world of Xenoblade 2. Xenoblade has been a pretty clear third attempt for executive producer Tetsuya Takahashi to finally complete his magnum opus, Project Noah, after the failures of Xenogears and Xenosaga, and while it's not evident at first, the connections to the first Xenoblade and the previous games of the series begin to take center stage. Not only is it a brilliant sequel, it's also a great standalone title.

Gameplay is a fluid mixture of the combo system of Xenogears and the MMO-style combat of the original Xenoblade. Although combat takes a while to play out, it helps give the game a more weighted feeling as a tactical pseudo-action RPG. Some people will love the enormous scale of the world, though I'm not a big fan of that type of game. It's a testament to the quality of the game, and since the maps are on different islands it flows better than the broken-up maps of the original game.

I hate to say it, though, but the really embarrassing moments really can't be excused. There's no excuse for characters to shout, for no reason, that they're adults because they're fifteen and that makes them mature. It comes off as horribly tryhard, like the audience has to be constantly reminded that the characters are still kids. Characters blush and throw fits and act like brats all the time, and rather than endear me to them I instead just want them to stop talking.

When the plot gets going, though, it's an absolutely wild ride. Unlike Persona 5, I didn't feel like my time was wasted, and while there's a plethora of side content none of it feels like it's being shoved in your face. Characters even get extra experience to spend when resting, so rather than being forced to go back and grind it's easy to just rest and catch up to the game's recommended level before moving on to the next objective. I truly enjoyed my time with this game, even if it made me cringe until my skin fell off. Make sure to finish it in time for Xenoblade 3, because that game will be insanity.

Yakuza 0
I only fell into the Yakuza series a few years ago, shortly before the announcement of Sega localizing Yakuza 5. Ever since, I've been totally enamored with this series. Yakuza 0 might just be the best title in the franchise, though its competition is the venerated second game in the franchise. This game takes us back to a younger Kiryu and Majima and tells the tale of their rise to fame within their respected clans. Interestingly, while their stories feed into one another, the two characters never meet during the main course of the game and it makes the prequel nature of the game feel much more natural as a result.

Everything in the game comes down to money. Enemies throw out money like it's candy, experience is calculated as money, and much of the game's plot revolves around it. You get a sense of the glitz and glamour of the era in comparison with the much grittier contemporary titles in the series.

Yakuza 0 is a great starting point for fans, though I'd argue it's better to start with the game's closely-released quasi-sequel, Yakuza Kiwami. 0 spoils several reveals for the rest of the series, and callbacks to later games will go unappreciated if the player hasn't experienced them first. That said, both games are great entries to the franchise and it all depends on whether or not you want to view them chronologically or by release. The story is emotional and exciting and the gameplay is tight and fluid, so either way you can't go wrong.

Resident Evil VII: Biohazard
By this point I think I've made it pretty clear I love the Resident Evil franchise, but the last few mainline titles have been real stinkers. Resident Evil 5 is completely soulless, while Resident Evil 6 shoves as many third-person shooting mechanics into a very small, linear game that just cannot keep up. The Revelations games were good enough, but they don't have the scope of a mainline game.

Resident Evil VII is exactly the type of game needed to reinvigorate the series, and it's done with mastery. Rather than the claustrophobic fixed camera angles, this new title uses a first-person camera with a focus on exploration. Combat is stiff and heavy, giving the player a sense that Ethan is not a fighter. While past survival horror titles, such as the Western-developed Silent Hill Homecoming or Downpour, failed to deliver this concept by use of clunky controls, Resident Evil VII successfully accomplishes a feeling of weakness by simply forcing the player to make precise decisions with aiming and resource management. It feels like a survival horror game through and through, not by reinventing the wheel but by sticking with what works.

The plot can be pretty torturous, especially during the final act, but the game makes up for this with an amazing final level and memorable characters. It's a great entry for new players, especially since Capcom appears to have placed the focus more on smaller, individual stories in the world of Resident Evil rather than continuing this epic story that's gone nowhere. It's a great direction for the franchise and I cannot wait for the Resident Evil 2 remake, which appears to borrow much of the game engine from Resident Evil VII. Even the ammo counter is the same! Here's to hoping that Resident Evil 8 continues this trend, because as it is now, Resident Evil has never looked better.

Part 3: The Top Three

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Just go here for my review. Some additional thoughts: superbosses were added to the DLC, but since you can't carry your gear with you in most of them it's rendered meaningless. Another complaint I need to address that I misspoke about is in regards to enemy scaling. I didn't know then that Blood Moons repopulated the world with stronger enemies and a baseline higher weapon level for all pickups, so that was a screw up by me.

Even with all its faults, Breath of the Wild is an incredible game to just sit down and play and has both the lowest barrier for entry in the series, while offering a great deal of customization and challenge.  I can shout from a mountain about how much I dislike what this game does for the franchise, but as a video game Breath of the Wild is great fun.

Super Mario Odyssey
It's been a while since I've been legitimately excited to play a new Mario game, but in the months leading up to this I was beyond elated to try it out. And man, did it deliver. Tight mechanics and a relaxing soundtrack make this a blast to, like Breath of the Wild, just lay down in bed and play. It's one of the comfiest games I've ever played, and clearly made with love and care. I don't really mind that it's pretty easy, because Mario has always hidden its challenge behind the endgame--something Breath of the Wild fails tremendously.

I cannot heap glowing praise on this game enough. I love the worlds, I love the new designs and all the customization available to the player, and all the little callbacks to the series history is touching and feels genuine. What can I say about Super Mario Odyssey that hasn't been said before? It's a masterpiece through and through, and it would've topped my game of the year list if not for...

Nier: Automata
WE MUST ALL DIE AND BECOME AS GODS.

The moment Yoko Taro and PlatinumGames were announced to be creating a new title in the Nier universe, I knew that nothing in 2017 could possibly top it. And look at that, I was correct; in fact, I was so correct that Square Enix decided to make the series into a franchise over the success of this game alone. Weird, considering Nier is just a subset of Drakengard, but as long as Yoko Taro is getting work with a quality studio I don't care.

I can't gush about this game enough. Characters are built up and subsequently torn down, destroyed by a world that's long since given up on its inhabitants. A war raging for tens of thousands of years creates a dramatic backdrop, but it's the very clear authorial voice of Nier that makes the series special. The original game was an overlooked classic, so thankfully this has gotten all the praise it deserves. I almost feel bad for that dullard reviewer who threw a fit that Automata got in the way of his Zelda playthrough, because what he missed was a special, unique, and very melancholy experience.

The music is phenomenal, mixed with callbacks to the original and some truly heartbreaking new tracks that will haunt you long after the credits roll. Even though this is the fifth game in the franchise, the nods to prior games in the series will only make you want to play them to learn more about the lore that has created this masterpiece. It cannot be understated just how perfect this game is, and the ending is guaranteed to leave you speechless. Whatever Yoko Taro works on next, I'll be the first in line.

If there are any games I missed you feel I need to check out, please feel free to post a comment and tell me about it. 2017 was a tremendous year for video games and I tried to get as many played as possible, but it just wasn't going to happen. Make sure you subscribe to my blog for more, or follow me at one of these social media nightmare things below:

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This year's Game of the Year list will be late, idiot.

For those who expected me to be dead: sorry. For the others who enjoy my annual Top Ten Games of the Year list, I regret to say that this year's list will have to be postponed until at least January. There were a ton of great games in 2017, lots of which I haven't had time to even look at, and I want to make sure that I finish all the games that are of interest to me before finalizing my list. I already have a good idea of what it will look like, but there are more than a few stand-outs that I simply haven't had time for.

Unlike professional game journalists who are paid for this sort of stuff, I actually want to finish the games I talk about rather than take a look for an hour, read the blurb on the back of the box, and make a decision. I announced this a few months ago but it bears repeating: I'm knee-deep in writing my first novel, and as of this post I'm actually editing the first draft. That goes before playing (and ranking) video games. I hope you understand. That said, I expect like fifty people ever to read the list when it gets finished anyway.

In any case, stay tuned to this spot for updates.

Blog Hiatus Announcement

At the beginning of this year I posted some huge plans for this blog and other projects I was thinking about trying out over 2017. While I am proud of everything I do, especially that grueling Legend of Zelda Retrospective (which, I'll have you know, was completely spur-of-the-moment), the fact of the matter is this blog simply isn't pulling in numbers and I feel like my time could be spent on something more productive.

When I first starting posting on this blog at the beginning of 2015, I only ever expected for my reviews to get a handful of views and I'd call it a day after a few months. Two and a half years later, I somehow accrued somewhere in the neighborhood of 7,000 lifetime views with several posts being read per day. Frankly, I don't know where these views are coming from since Google won't show exact traffic sources, but the fact that anybody has read my stuff gives me a tremendous sense of joy.

At the same time, I can't shake the feeling of ambivalence my blog seems to give off. In two years, the blog has received no followers on Google and my Facebook page is filled entirely with my very close and beloved friends and family to whom I reached out. Internet frauds are always lambasting how they're under abuse and get doxxed or whatever, but you have a platform on which to expound upon your views.

I never once expected to reach any sort of heights with this blog, but I will admit the main point I wanted out of this was to have a dialogue about the things I liked. And no, I don't mean "shouting about stuff, turning off comments and ratings and telling everyone I'm a victim," I mean I just outright wanted to discuss stuff here. Looking at the general feedback of my blog, conversation isn't really what people are here for.

One of the most frustrating elements of Blogger--a problem I don't think can be solved--is that I can't tell the engagement rate of my content. Blogger does share important information with its users, especially when it comes to the likes of traffic sources and demographics, but the most all-important statistic of all is completely missing: viewer retention. On my equally tiny Youtube account, I can see just how long people watch my videos and what point the viewer becomes disinterested--if I were a more active video producer, that kind of information is extremely constructive as it gives an idea of what audiences want to watch in their videos.

I'm totally willing to admit that people just don't want to read blogs on the internet anymore. I'm also willing to admit that my blog is probably just niche and uninteresting for people, though I take great pride in what I do and how I create content here. I have never gone out of my way to promote my blog outside of my small social media accounts (which will be linked at the bottom), so just thinking this blog has gotten so many views this far is nothing short of miraculous. Fact of the matter is, this is the only type of content I'm interested in producing. I don't care about Youtube, I don't care about making videos. I've always been a writer, and I will be until the day I die.

I don't like talking much about myself, but my goal in life has always been to write fiction. But on the other hand, I'm not a very popular guy and I don't have professional contacts at all. I'm more of by-the-bootstraps type of person and I want to succeed with my own talent, though Subjective Objective has kind of revealed exactly what that entails and it's pretty demoralizing. Maybe if I can squeeze it in I'll go and make a few silly videos on Youtube. But these twenty-page nightmares are simply more trouble than they're worth, and without the all-important critical feedback I can't tell if people are dropping my blogs after reading a sentence or coming back for more every day. This is all for your entertainment, and if I don't think you're entertained then I'm not entertained.

Long story short, I'm not done with this blog entirely. Just last night I was thinking about writing a review for Edgar Wright's new film Baby Driver, but I'll wrap it all up here by just saying you need to go see it. But when people can just go to highly-produced content like Red Letter Media or Matthewmatosis, it makes these quaint little blogs feel obsolete. I'm working two jobs and going out of my way to stress myself out over this blog, especially like I did for the Zelda Retrospective, does more harm than good. And since I'm a pitiful Millennial working with a useless degree, I don't have insurance to cover the stress of "nobody is reading my blog on the internet."

But that all goes back to my main goal: fiction. I took a very long break from writing to find a voice with this blog, and at the end of the day I think it more than succeeded with that goal. I want to say with absolute clarity that I understand getting anywhere with fiction, especially at the rate publishers are picking up and dropping new titles on a daily basis, is even more of a pipe dream than finding an audience with this blog. Even if I write the best story you've ever seen, there's no guarantee that it'll even be looked at. I'd love for that to happen, but if you've read this blog you know I'm a pessimist.

So to wrap this all up, I'm not quitting the blog entirely and I'm not announcing that I've got some big novel coming out or whatever. Simply put, I lost my focus and this blog helped me get it back. After all is said and done, you'll definitely see more here. I'm just way too busy and spread way too thin to continue at this rate. You should see how many drafts I have that I simply never finished, if I had the time I wish I could write them all at this moment but I just know I'd kick myself for distracting myself unnecessarily.

If you like what I've written, please share it with your friends. Blast me in the comments if you want, say hi on Twitter, I really don't care. If I see any sort of increased traffic, I'd be glad to come back and continue churning out more hyper-contrarian reviews for all of you. But right now, I have a story that needs to be written--not read, but written--and me reviewing the Akira manga or Twin Peaks can wait until my pet project is done.

I hope that you all enjoy my blog, and I'll see you at the end of the tunnel.

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E3 2017 Day One Wrap Up: EA

I'm so done with this shit. E3 is the pits: an indulgent, hedonistic ritual to showcase video games we could all just watch as press releases. Since developers need game journalists and game journalists need to justify their jobs, E3 is half a celebration of excess and half game journalists just repeating what we could have watched with our own eyes with a snide "take" on everything. You're game journalists, nobody cares about whatever conversation you're trying to peddle.

EA, the first developer to create video games out of their own employees' blood, began the show a day early--as if they couldn't inflate their ego any further--and opened their show with a completely detached and boring show from a drumline in sports uniforms that I could not possibly care any less about. The reason for this needless waste of time? Why, announcing the new Madden product will feature a story mode, because that worked very well for 2K's NBA 2K16.

After some meaningless business talk from an EA suit, the conference then switched over to Battlefield 1, a game which single-handedly ruined the release of my favorite game of last year. Apparently they're putting out paid DLC with more maps to divide their playerbase--a draconian practice Titanfall 2 discarded because that game and Respawn are awesome. Beginning with their Battlefield 1 showcase, EA introduced the main thesis of their show: EA is hip with the kids, so here are a bunch of lame, unfunny, cringe-inducing game streamers who shouted at the TV and caused much euphoria among pre-teens who don't want to play video games.

The subsequent twenty hours of the show were dedicated to FIFA, announcing...??? It was here that the streaming thesis fell apart entirely with some no-name Youtuber fumbling over the most basic of tasks: reading a teleprompter. I would have been embarrassed if I wasn't choking to death on my laughter. The game this nobody ruined his life over? The new Need for Speed product. Did you play the last one? You won't play this one either!

The developers of the critically-acclaimed Indie Darling Brothers then took the stage to announce their new game, A Way Out. This new game will force the player to ruin their experience with a co-op partner through the entire experience. The presenter couldn't remember his own name, so why would I trust someone like this with my very hard-earned and valuable money? Pass.

EA's disgraced team Bioware teased a new game which was only a CG trailer and promised the "full trailer" at Microsoft's presentation. I'm sure Bioware can definitely handle a new project after Dragon Age II, Mass Effect 3, Star Wars: The Old Republic, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and Mass Effect: Andromeda. If you're not comfortable showing me gameplay--and Bioware should never feel comfortable--then please get right out of my rugged face, I don't care at all about CG non-game trailers and you shouldn't either; these don't show you a thing about the game and can be manipulated in ways that don't reflect the game at all. The presenter also referred to the game as "vast" so I'm sure it's going to be a worthless open-world title.

~sports~

"Thirty minutes of pure, unadultered Star Wars" sounds like a brand new circle of Hell that Satan created just for Millennials. "Someone," whose name I can't remember and will be referenced solely by the name "Someone," very excitedly announced that EA took common sense into account and will implement a new offline single-player campaign into Battlefront 2. However, Someone's enthusiasm rubbed on me so much that I'm probably going to skip the game out of spite. It looks pretty fun, actually, and all the vehicle combat looks great--it's just a shame that the actress involved had to be excited to show off the story mode, because now I'll just think about how annoyed I was for a few seconds while watching EA's conference.

All in all, I'd give EA's 2017 conference an F-. I'm sure a lot of people would really appreciate the Star Wars stuff, but as a human being who can't handle anymore of the franchise at this point I'm lukewarm. The presenter was obnoxious and I'd rather just play Titanfall 2, but I'm mildly interested. That indie game threatening me with forced co-op pissed me off, and a combined hour of sports was purely uninteresting to me. Of course, there's Bioware's new embarrassing game to look out for, but only for the fact that if this game does poorly, EA will probably sell them off or something.

A note on the other E3 conferences this year: I'm extremely busy the week of E3 so I probably won't have my reactions up as timely as this one. Truth be told, they'll probably be up the day after the conferences air, if not a bit later. I'm trying to keep things on track but life stuff is more important than video games. As always, follow my social media accounts (one of you better do it this time) if you want to stay updated.

Social media:

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The Original Persona Broke My Spirit. (Review)

I first heard of the Persona series when the third game was hitting its stride, though I never actually played the franchise until much later. I'm not one to skip entries in a long-running series, so despite the fact that mouth-breathing idiots say that someone can start the Persona series with Persona 3 before moving on to Persona 4, that type of flippant ignorance never really sits well with me. Instead of jumping right into the casualized, pathetic dating sim of the third game and the redundancy of the fourth, I decided to sift through the mountain of Shin Megami Tensei titles I vaguely knew the series was related to. Although the original games were either hard to find or outright unreleased, luck was on my side: Atlus released updated ports of the original games on the Playstation Portable and copies were both abundant and affordable. I thought, why not? If I'm gonna be a hipster, I might as well go all the way and play through these old games new, stupid Persona fans outright reject. It's not like they're nightmarish dungeon crawlers straight from hell or anything, right?

Review: Persona

Megami Ibunroku: Persona is the hardest video game I have ever played. Ninja Gaiden Black is difficult, but it's beatable. The venerated Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne might be a descent into madness and corruption, but it only took me two attempts to crush what I believe might be the most satisfying final boss of all time. It's not even the main course of the game that's a hellish meatgrinder, though that's still a significant criticism.

Persona is a first-person dungeon crawler in the vein of earlier Shin Megami Tensei titles, a common through-point of each spinoff of the series. For example, the Persona and Devil Summoner series might have gone in wildly different directions from the Shin Megami Tensei mainline series, but the early entries in both of these spinoffs retained much of the series mainstays: negotiating with demons in order to strengthen the player's party, heavy emphasis on spellcasting, dark moral decisions, and imagery of a ruined Tokyo sprinkled throughout.

Fusion Accident

Negotiation is one of the more entertaining aspects of Persona; in previous Shin Megami Tensei titles, players were given a choice between being "friendly" or "threatening" to demons when initiating dialogue, then going down a small dialogue path before either recruiting the demon into the party, gaining an item, or receiving money. Money and items are still available as dialogue choices in Persona, but one of the biggest differences is that the original Shin Megami Tensei featured between one and three human party members while the rest of the party would need to be filled with recruited demons. Lower-level demons could be discarded by fusing two or three together, resulting in a constant flow of new allies with new abilities and stronger stats.

Since Persona has a full party at most times, demons themselves can't be fused but rather give the party a card of themselves which can be fused with other cards and turned into a new Persona. While a few demons can be created from fused cards, most of the equippable Personae are unique as deities and concepts from world religions; unlike demons, a Persona is a manifestation of the user's will, so stronger Persona users evoke godlike beings as their Persona.

To be frank, this system is worse than Shin Megami Tensei in multiple facets. The benefit of a successful negotiation is not tangible or immediate; rather, the player will have to wait until they find a Velvet Room--the Persona series version of the Cathedral of Shadows--and fuse Persona from the cards gathered. Cards and held Personae are highly limited, and to add to the frustration the game is very strict on who can equip which Persona. Each character is aligned with several tarot arcana which in turn dictates which newly-fused Persona can be equipped; additionally, each character will have certain affinity with each arcana, which ranks as worst-bad-good-best. Characters like Reiji only have one or two arcana aligned with good affinity, while only one is considered best and the rest are unusable. The protagonist, on the other hand, carries affinity with most arcana and is more versatile as a result.

Aside from the annoyance of being forced to create a small pool of Personae narrowed down to align with the cast's best affinities, each Persona has a very small skill pool considering they're fused from demons with a set amount of skills. In other Shin Megami Tensei titles, demons could be tailor-made to carry lineages of skill sets to create unstoppable monsters by the end of the game--look no further than the legendary Nocturne Daisoujou recipe to behold what truly nightmarish combinations can come about from tinkering around with demon fusion in specific circumstances. Even though the game is renowned for its difficulty, I fused a Daisoujou roughly halfway through Nocturne and it carried me all the way to the end of the game with the skills I fused for it then.

Persona is not as deep or satisfying in large part due to how narrowly-focused the fusion mechanic has become. Because MAX-level Personae can only be returned for new fusion totems or items, no skill lineage can be created throughout the course of the game; for the most part, this means a Persona will only have a mish-mash of skills from their parent demons and will never, ever be able to pass on whatever skills it may learn. In most cases, a Persona will be fused for two or three skills while it learns new spells that completely outclass the ones it begins with. It's almost baffling that a game with such strong ancestry would make a decision this poor, and to think it might have been the blueprint for the rest of the series is a bit mind-boggling.

Spellcasting is almost universally required for combat due in large part to the game's completely mishandled positioning system; while the ingredients for a neat combat system were all in place, Persona very often misses the mark. Characters and demons form a grid when starting a battle with each side composing a five-by-five square. Each attack type then targets specific points on the opposing side; for instance, Masao attacks in a sort of "W" pattern, with his direct front attacking the first two blocks in front of him, the attacks on either side taking only one block, and the furthest blocks on either side taking two blocks again. Reiji only attacks the front row, while Maki can attack the entire enemy formation--so long as she's in the back, in which case her gun can't be fired.

The characters' strengths and weaknesses do make the battles engaging as positioning becomes a concern later in the game, but by the end each encounter becomes increasingly more difficult to the point of lunacy. Having to keep in mind each formation for each selection of enemies is horribly tedious and makes the final few dungeons incredibly difficult. In a series known for punishing the player for every little mistake, the final dungeon in particular can be a true nightmare. Spellcasting is a godsend as it allows players to attack any target from any position without worrying about positioning. Although spells cost a significant amount of magic to cast, the developers seemed to know that this would be the preferred method of attacking anyway as characters are fully healed upon leveling up. Furthermore, characters have an entirely different level for equipping Personae compared to their natural character level--for example, a character who throws around spells constantly might be two or three Persona levels higher than their character level, which will allow them to equip a Persona which might be higher than their natural level. Of course, this only applies to characters who have been using spells with regularity, so those who aren't using their Persona at all times might not be able to equip a Persona they have best affinity for because their Persona level is too low.

To be totally fair, the heal upon gaining a new level mechanic gives the game a very brisk pace allowing players to just constantly throw themselves against enemy crowds since levels are fairly easy to come by; rather than forcing themselves to run back to a healing fountain earlier in a dungeon, it's usually more feasible to use items and power through to the next level. The only thing I want to ask is this: if the developers intended the characters to be played almost exclusively as spellcasters and reward those who go down this path, why even bother with the convoluted grid? I can't say I hate combat outright in Persona, but forcing unnecessary changes is a misstep that hinders a system that could have been perfectly serviceable in a very good dungeon crawler.

Moral "Choices"

While the previous Shin Megami Tensei games focused on the player's conflict with their internal alignment, Persona merely punishes players who make wrong dialogue choices. It's interesting to see the ways in which the game tries to incorporate elements from the mainline series, but the presentation for these choices is weak at best.

Shin Megami Tensei typically offers moral choices when the player comes across decisions that fall under "lawful" or "chaotic" alignments; lawful characters believe in absolute order and helping the weak, but without a failsafe in check this can lead to fascist systems in which those under the law are punished for stepping out of bounds in the least. So basically, college campuses. Chaos, on the other hand, favors absolute power and freedom over all else. Naturally, the weak are crushed in this environment while the powerful thrive. So basically, the current Presidential Administration.

The choices given in Persona don't have much weight and are instead focused on forcing the player to stand true to their convictions when faced with difficult situations. It allows the protagonist to feel like a true leader at points, but the story and gameplay benefits are entirely too weak; answering correctly for most dialogue choices only allows the player to fuse decent mid-level Personae via special totems, though by the time I reached the end of the game I was still too underleveled to even equip them. Oh, but I'll get to that.

In one situation near the mid-point of the game, the player is forced to make a series of dialogue choices to help out a plot-crucial NPC. If the player answers all three questions incorrectly (each question has three answers, by the way) the player will then be given the bad ending--several hours later, well after their old save data has been overwritten. It's a needlessly cruel way to punish players for an ambiguous round of questions and I would personally not blame anyone for dropping the game if they got this ending; Shin Megami Tensei has always focused on "not evil, but not necessarily right," though some players will obviously lean toward one alignment or the other. Grey morality as a system thrives in the franchise, and having the neutral route as a secret surprise for players who don't become too embroiled in the extremes of either side is icing on the cake. Persona has no grey morality and the choices will come back to haunt players who didn't pick the correct options, but even if the player picks a choice they feel is right the plot continues as if nothing happened and later shames the player for picking that choice.

"Ruined" Tokyo

The franchise-standard imagery of a destroyed major city appears in a bizarre turn in Persona, though the concept of ruination is vague. Near the beginning of the game, the characters play an occult game called Persona which awakens them to their own ability to summon a Persona. After visiting their terminally ill friend Maki in a hospital, the characters are dragged into a strange version of their town where hospitals are replaced by forests and old houses were never demolished for business offices. The town is under the rule of local business owner Kandori, who is attempting to pull elements from a twisted version of reality into the real world in order to rule as a god.

The real standout character is Maki, the terminally ill student whose personal conflict becomes the main driving force behind the story. Psychology and spirituality are mixed and implemented to stunning degree as the characters race to save the town from Kandori and Maki's inner demons. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast is somewhat rote in comparison; the protagonist is a standard silent hero who the party simply follows because he has the best hair, while the other two main party members Nanjo and Masao are often only used to fill in the plot. Nanjo is an analytical and haughty rich kid who feeds backstory to the player, assembling the plot in his head as he learns more information. Masao, on the other hand, is the free-natured punk with a heart of gold. You can guess exactly what these characters will say when they need to say it.

One of the interesting elements of the party dynamic is the fifth member, a student who also took part in the Persona game. After entering the twisted town and rescuing Masao, the player can accept help from one of the other characters who will accompany the party for the remainder of the game; these party members are typically background noise and only really help as additional damage during combat, but one of the final party members adds a significant amount of new dialogue and context to the Kandori subplot.

Reiji is the definition of a secret Easter Egg as the character requires an unreasonable amount of hoops to jump through in order to unlock him as a party member. He also demands the player deny help from every last one of the final members until he's finally unlocked, and if the player missed any requirements for Reiji they'll be stuck with one of the weakest and most bland characters in the game. Reiji isn't even worth it for much of the game; aside from having the worst affinity set in the game, he can only attack the front row and his ultimate Persona is weak against the final boss. He makes up for this in raw power and the interesting plot details he adds to the story, but you'd think he'd be an instant win button for all the trouble it takes to unlock him.

The plot moves forward at a very brisk pace--my save file was around 30 hours by the end--and twists and turns in interesting ways. The game's strongest point is definitely in its dungeon design, not totally incomprehensible like mainline Shin Megami Tensei but still labyrinthine enough to force players to really consider their forward path. For what it's worth, the plot is serviceable enough.

The Final Boss.

Pandora is one of the most unbearably difficult final bosses I've ever encountered in a video game in my entire life. Her dungeon is a complete slog to navigate and even includes a pitfall which can drop the player back to the very beginning of the dungeon from a point very close to the end and one floor is entirely full of pitch-black chambers that snake around into horribly confusing pathways. The final floor is a confusing maze full of damaging tiles nearly every other step full of demons that are themselves nearly max-level with a wide coverage of elemental repel; since demons are so high-level on this floor players will have to grind out levels near the healing fountain in order to actually recruit for new cards.

The first form of Pandora is simple enough, but it begins the battle by reminding the player very quickly that this is in fact a Shin Megami Tensei title, often using turns to buff up with Tarukaja before casting party-wide attack spells. I'm not exaggerating when I say that here, in the final encounter of the game, I felt my jaw drop as soon as I realized that Pandora was going to give me an eleventh-hour kick in the asshole. The training wheels were off. I'd beaten Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse without a single game over. I cleared Nocturne on normal as my first mainline game, I was ready. Nothing would stop me.

My under-leveled Personae and woefully unprepared skill set, which actually consisted of various debuffs and high-level spells, completely crippled my chances of defeating the final boss.

I thought about how simple this game would have been had I only the option to fuse all these stupid, worthless Personae together to form one of my beloved world-ending debuff nuke demons, but this was not meant to be. I had about three of the five ultimate Personae already pre-baked, but not a single one of my characters was high-enough level to equip them. The protagonist was closest at level 57, but his ultimate Persona was level 62. Nanjo and Masao were dragging along behind the rest of the party at a dismal shared level of 46, utterly collapsing my chances of recruiting higher-level demons for fusion. Naturally, because everything about Persona needs to be as convoluted as possible the recruitment level for demons is not the highest level of the party but actually the combined average of the party; since Masao and Nanjo were at such a lower level than everyone else, my party average was no less than six levels lower than the protagonist who was nearly level 60. Yeah, no recruitment in this dungeon.

The worst part about this horrible situation? I'd been there before. I played through the entire game before on Easy Mode, before I knew about fusions and moon cycles and debuffs and Matador and ONE MORE GOD REJECTED and reaching out to the truth and crying about Tokyo Mirage Sessions. See, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona was my first game in either of these series. I'm not some wimp who comes into a franchise at the midway point even though I did exactly that with Nocturne, I'm a man dammit and I'm not about to skip some neat dungeon crawler because some loser waifu idiots wrongfully think Persona 4 is a good game.

Dungeon crawlers were one of the first game genres I was ever exposed to; watching my dad play Shining in the Darkness for the Sega Genesis was an interesting formative memory. It's a fairly little-known spinoff in the Shining Force series and replaces the series trademark tactical strategy combat for a pure first-person dungeon crawling RPG. I was always so enraptured watching him go through the town, stock up, talk to all the characters and listen to the king's plight. I loved watching him navigate through the corridors and rush some poor snakes and whatever other monsters were lurking around--in the darkness.

One of the main reasons I got into this series, and why I'm so bummed about the direction it's taken in recent years, is because I always wanted to break into this style of game. I've always had a very horrible sense of direction and something about the winding corridors of these types of games always intimidated me, but I was just so enthralled by watching my dad confidently play through Shining in the Darkness that I could never drop my fascination with the genre. At the same time, I've always been so intimidated by the style that I never knew the best place to start. I figured Persona would be a great entry point, given how widespread the series popularity has become and since by then the team had so much experience with their mechanics by this point, I was sure it would be a great jumping-in point.

The first time I played Persona, I went into the Pandora battle on easy mode with all my basic, first-level Personae equipped and no idea what debuffs even were. I was beaten so handily that I turned off the game and thought I'd never come back. With the release of Persona 5, I thought I'd come back and take a look at the game with a more weathered pair of eyes, only to constantly come up against nagging issues--specifically, the fusion system. I never thought I'd end up having trouble with it after so much experience, but yet again Pandora completely trashed my team and I was sent back to a save room half an hour away from the boss which I'd already been fighting for half an hour.

To this day, across two full playthroughs, I've had to give up on the final boss of the game. I feel like I could probably grind it out and get those beastly max-level Personae, but what's the use? I already told you about how brilliant the pacing of the game was, how I never once had to stop and grind for experience or spell cards because it's such a smooth ride throughout the game up until the very end. Even the dungeon before Avidya World is fairly difficult, but by the end it felt like the game was merely trying to destroy my spirit. And for now, while I write this review, it's still broken.

The Port

Two versions of Persona exist: the original Playstation Megami Ibunroku: Persona and the PSP remaster Shin Megami Tensei: Persona. Everything about the PSP version is better, and for players who buy the game digitally they can actually play it on a Vita or Playstation TV. It seems redundant to play a game remade for portable systems on a TV, but the spritework and level design looks brilliant on a nice television.

The Playstation version of Persona, released in the West as Revelations: Persona, is less easy on the eyes and I feel much of the reworked visuals went a long way in helping me to enjoy the portable remaster. The city of the original game is a huge, ugly 3D map which requires the player to constantly rotate and double-check locations on a minimap to discern where anything is; the PSP remaster, on the other hand, features a beautifully-drawn 2D map segmented into portions which allow for very simple navigation. Moreover, the Revelations release featured some very odd changes: the town was relocated to a generic American city and all character names were changed to reflect the setting. 

Nanjo became Nate, Reiji became Chris (which caused some very major confusion the brief time I spent with this version of the game), and while other characters suffered some strange sprite alteration no character was hit harder than Masao. Poor, oafish Masao became Mark and was completely changed into a black kid. The horrifying realization that this was likely done because his initial Persona is dressed in tribal attire and the character's negotiation skill is "dancing crazy" is sobering and, while very hilarious, somewhat uncomfortable. Not only this, but the game's difficulty was tweaked by lowering the encounter rate and increasing experience values across the board. It's a pretty horrid way to play an already middling game, though the minute-to-minute dungeon crawling is still just as good as the PSP version. There's also a completely optional side route--not side quest, a full-blown secret campaign hidden from the player--that was completely removed from the Playstation release, though the PSP remaster naturally restores it.

The biggest drawback to playing on the PSP is honestly a rather big one: Megami Ibunroku featured an absolutely stellar soundtrack, a tense and lively mixture of hard rock and unsettling industrial music. It seriously helps set the tone for an eerie trek across a nightmare world and contains some of my favorite music tracks of the Playstation library. The PSP remaster, on the other hand, has replaced nearly all music with annoying, loud, ear-grating J-Pop that actually sounds like it came from the Persona 4 soundtrack. Seriously, at one point I had to stop playing the game to look up a similar track and make sure it wasn't just lifted from the later game. It utterly destroys the atmosphere of the game and every single time I hear "leave dis berry memly" I want to shut the fucking game off and refund the two copies of the game I bought because I can't help but love it.

No seriously, listen to this crap.

To make matters far worse (and funnier), the singer utterly obliterates the pronunciation of the lyrics. I know it's very gauche to make fun of an ESL, but the lyrics are botched to such a ridiculous degree that it's nearly impossible to discern what's actually being conveyed. Just look at the first verse of the song:

Leave this buried memory
This fear-ridden self-consciousness
I'm just a lone prayer

The first line is sang decently with the exception of the obvious Engrish errors, but with the second the entire song collapses in on itself. "This" has been almost entirely skipped past, causing the reading to sound more like "s'fear-ridden" which sounds more like a contraction of "it's." "Ridden" in "fear-ridden" is almost entirely skipped because of the enunciation, while "self" takes two syllables to pronounce. "Consciousness" is fine, if not bizarrely slurred. Rather than "This fear-ridden self-consciousness," it sounds like the singer is shouting S'FEAR-RIN SEH-ELF CONSCIOUSNESS. And that's just silly. Where things take a very dramatic turn for the worst, and the point the song cannot possibly hope to pick itself up over, is the final line where the singer completely forgets the sentence article "a," so rather than the singer telling the listener she is "a lone prayer," which doesn't make any sense, she's telling the listener "I'm just lone prayer." This signifies that she herself is identified as "Lone Prayer," which just makes no sense at all. Hell, the first time I heard the song I thought the lyrics were pure gibberish, then eventually I convinced myself it was:

Leave this valid memory,
Spirits of consciousness
I'm just one player

It still doesn't make much sense, but at least it doesn't sound like garbage.

This is the first verse of the stupid battle song which the player is going to hear with almost permanent frequency, especially in later stages of the game where every three or four steps will cause a random battle to occur. Even if the player nukes the enemy field in one spell, it's almost impossible to skip the first verse of the song. That's disregarding the weird chorus which throws around Japanese lyrics with reckless abandon. In short, the music is a complete mess which makes no grammatical sense and shatters the tone of the game. In a word, it sucks. And don't get me started on the abysmal world map theme which is plagued with poor enunciation, weird grammatical errors, and just a very poor melody. The only good song in the game, and ironically the only one I'd consider great, is the final boss theme. It's even better than the original soundtrack, strangely enough.

There's rumor of a fan patch which replaces almost all of the shitty J-Pop with the wonderful soundtrack of the Playstation game, but I'm not here reviewing a fan fix. If you really want to play the game and don't mind getting your hands dirty--and I want to point out that I suffered through the PSP music so you should too--I recommend at least looking into that.

Given the slew of improvements to the PSP release it's obviously stupid to ever assume the Playstation version is better in any capacity other than music. I always thought of a game's soundtrack as being one of the least important aspects of game design until I played Persona on PSP, but after comparing the two I'm almost stunned that anyone at Atlus thought this was a good idea. If you have to play Persona, I'm sorry that your only option is the musical equivalent to someone spraying diarrhea on a wall and proclaiming it as art.

Verdict

For the majority of its run, Persona is a great dungeon crawler that runs at a brisk pace through some of the best-designed first-person dungeons in the industry. Not overly complex like Strange Journey or mindlessly stupid like Persona 4, Persona has the makings of a great entry into the dungeon crawler genre. That said, the finale of the game utterly destroys the masterful pacing set up in the game's narrative and core mechanics, then spits in the player's face by offering a final boss seemingly lifted from a different game entirely. It's broken my spirit for now, but I don't think I've given up yet--watching the ending on Youtube just doesn't have the same impact. I won't review Persona 2 until I beat Pandora on my own though, so you better hope I get my ass in gear.