Fallout 76 is your fault.

Usually I'd like to make a long blog to ramble about something like this, but I'm just tired of giving Bethesda attention. Fallout 76 has released to such vicious blow-back that a law firm is getting involved to decide if the game is a scam. I don't honestly believe the fault is with Bethesda, though; no, Todd's just doing what he's been conditioned to believe is best for the consumer. Joke all you want about how Skyrim is on every console, hell, even I bought the Switch port, but the consumer is the one pushing for this kind of treatment. For my part, I skipped the last generation ports as well as the "Special Edition" remaster simply out of the virtue that Bethesda deserves as little money as possible, but even in this glass house I need to throw a few stones over this mess.

Take the Obsidian debacle, for instance. Nobody talks about New Vegas much for some reason, and some websites skip over it when referring to the series as a whole, but that might be because Bethesda played dirty and screwed Obsidian over for cheap labor. Don't feel bad if you haven't heard this story before, because it certainly didn't circulate over the normal channels. In essence, Bethesda not only forced Obsidian to develop the entire game, including bug testing, in only eighteen months, but also kept them from receiving bonuses under the pretense that they needed to earn an 85 Metacritic score. Most platforms the game received an 84, and in many of the negative reviews you'll note that points were docked because of the game's performance. Poor performance, you may realize, was caused by Bethesda's Frankenstein game engine and Obsidian's insane deadlines.

Bethesda bought the Fallout franchise from Obsidian, dangled it over their heads like a carrot, then shoved them in a locker when they got what they wanted. Bethesda took Obsidian's hard work to the bank, and nobody batted an eye. For me, though, this was the moment I gave up on the studio. Okay, yeah, I bought that Skyrim port, but you know what? I accept that I was part of the problem.

But Fallout 76? That's on you. It's on you for criticizing criticizing Jeff Gerstmann for rightfully pointing out Bethesda's laziness on Fallout 4. It's on the game journalists for not doing their job and putting pressure on Bethesda for their treatment on Obsidian. It's on the mongoloid press for clapping their hands at Bethesda's mediocrity. Is Bethesda to blame for reusing a busted old engine from 2002? Of course. But if you want creators to improve, you have to vote with your wallet. I promise you, if the studio doesn't learn from this fiasco then Starfield and, later, Elder Scrolls VI will absolutely be just as pathetic as Fallout 76. And you can bet they'll point to sales figures as the first justifiable excuse for their half-assed attempt. Just stop giving them money. Just stop buying every shiny new thing without doing any research. Save your money. Please just stop.

The Playstation Mini is a cheap piece of bargain bin crap

Nintendo's classic consoles, while suffering from a disgusting flood of hype, were great ways to experience the best assortment of games from their respective consoles. Mario and Zelda were perfectly rounded out with Mega Man and Final Fantasy in a package that not only made sense, but looked nice to boot. The Super Nintendo classic, while boasting fewer games, upped the ante by releasing with an impressive collection of titles as well as the previously unreleased Star Fox 2. Nintendo might make some stupid decisions, but they know from premium quality.

The same could be said of Sony, though not in the way you might expect. Yes, Sony understands quality, but what they truly understand is Nintendo quality. From questionable knock-offs like their Move controllers to blatant idea theft with the likes of Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale, Sony appears to believe that the best way to give customers a quality product is just to emulate whatever Nintendo is excelling at, regardless of context.

Might as well emulate their censorship policies as well, that worked so well for the Wii U era. Photo credit: https://twitter.com/JoshuaMFrench/status/1056659776241831936

Sony's latest in a series of shameless ripoffs is the Playstation Classic, a miniature console that promises to "help gamers rediscover the games they know and love," announcing first a line-up of veritable classics, including Final Fantasy VII, Wild Arms and Tekken 3.

My first reaction was generally positive, especially given that Tekken 3 is permanently stuck in legal limbo due to the inclusion of a popular licensed character in Japan who nobody abroad gives a shit about. This initial announcement left me bewildered, however, due to the previewed games in this thing: namely, Wild Arms and Jumping Jack Flash. I get Wild Arms, it was one of my favorite games as a teenager and it has a niche following, but one of twenty games that defined the console? Same with Jumping Flash, I'm sure that game was loved and I know it has a sizable following, but this is how you plan on celebrating the first Sony console?

Today, Sony revealed the full list of games and confirmed that they have absolutely no clue what led to their system's success. Here's the Western console:

Battle Arena Toshinden Cool Boarders 2 Destruction Derby Final Fantasy VII Grand Theft Auto Intelligent Qube Jumping Flash! Metal Gear Solid Mr. Driller Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee Rayman Resident Evil Director's Cut Revelations: Persona Ridge Racer Type 4 Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo Syphon Filter Tekken 3 Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Twisted Metal Wild Arms

And the Japanese version:

Arc the Lad Arc the Lad 2 Armored Core Biohazard Director’s Cut (Resident Evil Director’s Cut) Final Fantasy VII International G Darius Gradius Gaiden Intelligent Qube Jumping Flash Megami Ibunroku Persona: Be Your True Mind (Revelations: Persona) Metal Gear Solid Mr. Driller Parasite Eve Ridge Racer Type 4 SaGa Frontier Super Puzzle Fighter IIX Tekken 3 Toshinden (Battle Arena Toshinden) Wild Arms XI [sái] (Devil Dice)

My response, as should be everyone's, was a simple "huh?" Unsurprisingly, I did see a lot of "meh" in the Twitter responses to these lists, but one of the biggest surprises is just how upset people were by the very obvious superiority of the Japanese list of games on display. Many people had already been clambering for the Parasite Eve games and here's the Japanese Classic system boasting that and several other incredible games. Gradius Gaiden wouldn't even need to be translated, and Armored Core is still a beloved game over here. What really gets me, though, are the omissions of SaGa Frontier and the inclusion on both consoles of Revelations: Persona.

I've made my dislike of Persona 1 abundantly clear in my review, but here's the thing: that was a review of the enhanced PSP port. Megami Ibunroku Persona is not by any stretch of the imagination a good game on its own, and it's only made worse by the worst world map ever put in a video game and a UI that was designed by space aliens who don't understand basic text layout. Not only that, the game was also subject to possibly the worst localization of all time: one character was entirely changed to be a different race, making him look like he's running around in blackface than an actual character; all the character and location names are changed to be more "Americanized"; and an entire optional quest, as long as the main game, was cut for unknown reasons. Am I supposed to be happy that Sony is shoving the worst version of a bad game into this thing? What really bothers me about this is that the far superior game, Persona 2: Eternal Punishment, is translated very faithfully, has no cuts, and is far more representative of the series going forward--although not by much.

What I really wanted out of this thing was a collection of titles that for whatever reason, Sony was unable to launch on the Playstation Network. SaGa Frontier is one such example. I don't know why it never released as a PSN Classic, but this is a clear example of a game that would please the niche JRPG fan while offering something we can't get elsewhere. Any game here that can be bought through the Vita or PS3 is an instant question mark from me, and a huge chunk of both lists are just that. I understand why the Nintendo Classic featured a ton of games otherwise available on the Wii U shop: that console sold like crap and many of the games were only available through the defunct Wii Virtual Console, and moreover, it's a way of celebrating the best of the best in regards to that entire console's lifespan. Very few of the games in either of these lists do just that, but the Japanese list is clearly superior. Even the releases of Biohazard Director's Cut and Revelations: Persona are superior to their Western counterparts--Resident Evil is censored and Persona, as mentioned, is butchered to the point of being nearly unrecognizable.

Other titles seem like complete no-brainers. If the Japanese console is going to include a FromSoft game, why Armored Core and not the far rarer, more noteworthy King's Field? Dark Souls is arguably one of the most important franchises of the last generation of games, so why not include the title from which many of From's ideas were first introduced? That's also a game not readily available on the Playstation Network! How about the piles of Enix games Square apparently forced them to throw in a dumpster somewhere? Excuse me, but what the fuck about Star Ocean 2 or Valkyrie Profile? Both extremely coveted games, Star Ocean 2 only being available through the Japanese store and Valkyrie Profile only released recently as a mobile port. Yes, there are PSP versions of both, but have either of those been released digitally? Nope! And if we're talking about the Japanese console, has everyone forgotten about Dragon Quest VII? A franchise so successful it destroyed the Japanese work week?

I'm too lazy to verify, but a lot of these seem like bargain-bin Sony games that cost the company nothing to obtain rights for. Fucking Toshinden, really? I don't know if Sony is aware of this, but the Playstation was defined by its roleplaying games. Xenogears alone is better than any RPG in this list, but it's like the company shit themselves over the idea of a game that's not an ugly, forgotten pile of crap. Nobody cares at all about old Rainbow Six games or goddamn Syphon Filter. Get that shit right out of my vision, nobody in the world remembers or cares about that franchise. Cool Boarders? Mr. Driller? Drill out my eyes, it's preferable to ever playing at least half this list. Hell, as far as I can tell that Puzzle Fighter game was re-released in HD not very long ago on last-gen consoles, how is this suddenly a better proposition?

But speaking of HD remasters, let's take a look at some notable omissions. Metal Gear Solid made the cut, and it was unsurprisingly one of the most requested titles, but another highly-requested game was also a Konami game--Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. There's no need to go into just how beloved this game is, the success of the recent Castlevania: Requiem release proves that.

Oh right, that game did just get re-released on a modern console. You know what else is missing? Crash Bandicoot. Literally any of those games. As is Spyro the Dragon, a game that I instantly think of when remembering the Playstation. And MediEvil, a spooky action romp. Notice anything about these three titles? Every one of them is being worked on as a full remake from the ground up. Games you automatically remember as Playstation hallmarks are missing, and I assure you it's not because they're indicative of the console's big exclusive games. Sony is looking to make a quick buck here, and you don't make money by potentially losing a sale on new or upcoming games.

Yes, that's it. That's the only reason your beloved Crash Team Racing and Symphony of the Night are not on here. It's because Sony slapped this piece of crap together with bargain bin games they could scrounge up the licenses for the cheapest. Intelligent Qube, friends. If there's any indication that Sony completely dropped the ball with this thing, it's their inclusion of a forgotten puzzle game nobody cares about. Just peruse the list of games on both Nintendo mini consoles:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NES_Classic_Edition

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_NES_Classic_Edition

Now those are lists curated with love. An unreleased game, classics, even Earthbound was selected for the Western release just because Westerners made such a big deal about the franchise for such a long time. Nintendo very much curated their consoles to appeal to everyone who's ever owned an original, which you can clearly see by looking over the list. Chances are if you haven't played all of those games, you've at least heard of many, if not most of them. They even picked the most famous Street Fighter release by region! Those are labors of love, and it's no wonder they went out of print for so long.

This Playstation thing just feels like a quick cash-grab with the cheapest games Sony could get their hands on, and I will almost certainly skip it. I assure you I wouldn't touch half the games in the Western release, and nearly all the Japanese games are available through other means. You might see the novelty in the included pre-Dualshock controllers, but take it from me, you'll see why Sony has gone through such lengths to improve that design over the years.

The only games in this list worth playing not available through the PS3's classic system are Revelations Persona and Tekken 3, and the former is a very far stretch. In fact, Persona 1 is only worth playing as a curiosity, especially given how much better its PSP counterpart improves the entire game. Tekken 3 is the real bummer here, especially since it will likely never see a wide release again, but your money is better spent on simply buying a copy of the Playstation original. Rather than rewarding Sony for this pile of crap, go invest in a Playstation 3. Aside from the great exclusives, nearly all the games on both of these lists can be found cheap on PSN, as well as a host of others mentioned in this article yet somehow missing from the Playstation "Classic." And if you're that worried about Puzzle Fighter, keep in mind that an HD remaster is also available on Playstation 3. Do not reward laziness, skip this monstrosity altogether.

Update: Reviews are starting to poor in, and while I was obviously right Sony took steps to go further in their mediocrity. Rather than selecting games per region, as they do in their Playstation Classics store, the Playstation Classic instead uses the European releases of many of its games. Why is that a problem, you ask? European televisions had a refresh rate of 50Hz, as opposed to our 60, and games had to be slowed down to compensate. That means any of the European titles will be just over 15% slower than the same North American games, automatically bringing the value of this thing as a preservation device crashing through the floor. The worst part is that the most valuable game in this collection, Tekken 3, is one of those very European releases. Fighting games are at their best at 60 FPS, and nobody will want to play a venerated classic like Tekken 3 at any sort of compromised framerate. That means the one single game I've praised for its inclusion is completely worthless, and I want to reiterate that you should not reward Sony for their laziness.